Remember when I said my cycle felt like it was around the corner? And remember when I said I was only a couple days away from LDW, and the countdown to Maintenance?
Turns out, I was both right, and wrong. My cycle decided to make itself known this morning, and I've been miserable ever since. The last few days have been nothing but painful cramping and unpleasant bloating with extreme cravings and emotional stress on a scale I haven't felt in years. I have hated every minute of the last couple days, and while I was trying to be optimistic and hang onto the hope that I'd make it to Maintenance, my patience level rapidly decreased until it was all but gone.
Today was the final fuse that made my psyche go BOOM. I apparently still didn't get the proper clarification on the protocol and VLCD and TOM, and now that I finally have, let's just say... I QUIT!
So if you're still on VLCD, and TOM shows up, you have to stay on the drops and the vlcd diet for the duration of your cycle, until all evidence is gone. For those lucky few, this translates into five days. For most, it's seven, and for some, it can go as long as two weeks. I fall smack inbetween the most and some. Once TOM's completely gone, you remain on the drops for a final three days, then stay on the vlcd diet for an additional three to let the hormone work itself out of your system before you start on Maintenance. This translates into a minimum of thirteen days. Minimum! That's over halfway through a whole other cycle of the vlcd diet. If you wanted to go a second round, it'd only be an extra eight days. Count em, eight.
Shit, at that point, you might as well just go another round. And I've been seriously considering doing so. My cravings for food, even the most base of food like cereal and bread, has been so strong and high for the last week that I was 99.5% committed to cheating today, eating whatever, ordering a third bottle of the hormone, and just going a whole second round. I haven't lost near the weight I wanted to - only fifteen pounds if you don't count the load weight - and I'm emotionally strung out. Cheating a couple days would have gotten me through another round, maybe. And let me just stress that 'maybe.'
I talked to BF about what's going on. Needless to say, he's been frustrated with this diet from the get go, but has been insanely supportive the whole time. After watching me come close to tears while I talked out my frustration earlier, he was done though. What's the point in sticking with a diet that's just going to push me over the edge? I've been having a hard enough time lately with the vlcd meals, adding another 21 days would be ridiculous. I can't work out, and I'm booked back to back weekends for the next month. I have three events coming up in the next month that all require being able to eat regular food. I'm miserable, not having the results I'd expected within the scope of the protocol, and exhausted.
I've always viewed this as a kick start to working out and losing weight. This diet's never been the answer to all my weight loss questions, like it is for some people. I want to work out. I want to be fit. I want to fit into my clothes. This diet's designed to be that answer that lets you live life without having to work out, and still maintain a healthy weight. For some people, that's the perfect solution. For me, this has been an experience, but not one I'll be repeating any time soon.
I find myself grateful that I haven't shared this blog with anyone at the FB page, because of this entry specifically. For people out there, this diet has worked wonders. For me, this isn't my cup of tea. Congrats to all the people who saw this through to a successful weight loss. All the support in the world to the people who are trucking on through and making it work for them. And a pat on the back to me, for giving it a shot, and making the best decision for me, all the way around.
No comments:
Post a Comment