VLCD 6 & 7 - Goodbye Detox, Hello Guilt

Would you believe I completely spaced blogging yesterday? Actually taking into account what happened yesterday, I do believe it. Let's just say Tuesday wasn't the best day in the world, both personally and professionally, and leave it at that.

I'm happy to report the detox symptoms are on their way out the door, and I'm back to losing weight. Monday was still pretty shaky and weak feeling, with Tuesday seeing a sudden attack of nausea right after lunch that lasted close to four hours. Let me tell you, the nausea was NOT fun. I was literally sitting at my desk, my head in my hands, fighting that trip down the hallway to puke. If I have any choice at all, I'll avoid puking in a public restroom. That's just...nasty.

Tuesday night - VLCD 6 - I was feeling much better. I had my go to meal of cabbage and beef, and some strawberries, and downed a whole additional liter of water. I was feeling pretty strong, and able to hold a decent conversation without drifting and losing concentration.

This morning I woke up feeling great again. My hunger pangs didn't kick in until about half way to work, and by then I'd already been able to take my first set of drops so it only lasted for a few minutes. I was starving around 10, and water just wasn't cutting it so I had my strawberries early. Lunch was romaine lettuce, chicken, and a dressing made from Frank's Sauce and mustard, which was delicious. About two thirty I realized I was starving again, and after calculating my total calorie intake so far (110+40+15=165) I wasn't surprised, so I snacked on my melba.

That was thankfully enough to get me to my next set of drops, the last of my second liter of water, and home to relax. Dinner tonight was the VLCD safe eggs - one whole egg, three egg whites - with some more Frank's, an apple and a plate full of radishes. All very very satisfying, and filling. Which is where the guilt sets in.

I've been reading back over the book again and looking at the directions, and it occurs to me that while you're not anywhere near as restricted as I'd initially thought, there's still a level of abstinence that is required. I'm concerned that my constant intake of hot sauce, and now the eggs, will cause me to 'cheat' unintentionally, and I'll have to start the 21 days on drops all over again. I'm already 7 days into the damn thing, I don't wanna start over again. Technically I haven't gone off the diet, everything I've eaten has been within protocol, and I haven't even maxed out my calorie count, despite permission to do so. I've also avoided the broth, surprisingly enough, and I'm not feeling weak from the loss.

I guess, in my head, I'm worried that I've messed up somewhere and cheated. Even though everything I'm doing is VLCD approved. I made lunch for tomorrow - cabbage and beef, as I haven't had it for lunch yet, and I'm just not prepared for another salad - and I left out the hot sauce in the initial cook. I did sprinkle some on top, but not too much. And I'll have another apple for lunch, with either strawberries or a grapefruit for dinner, which will help me feel less guilty, I hope.

On a more personal note, I had my first true 'test' on the diet. I was so exhausted and weak from the nausea yesterday that when I got home the idea of cooking myself dinner, let alone BF and his dad dinner, was sending me over the edge into emotional temper tantrums. I ended up talking BF into ordering pizza, which is one of my chief food weaknesses. Bf and his dad ate their pizza at the same table as me, seeing as how we were playing Hearts, and I was...FINE!!! No temptation, no hunger pangs, no desire to eat the pizza. The beef and cabbage helped TONS which is one of the reasons I went with it, but I was also feeling strong enough that the desire to eat it was very minimal. It was a huge success for me, one that I'm quite proud of ^_^

To date, I've lost 10.4 pounds, and I'm ecstatic about it. I know the stalls and slow downs in loss are headed my way in the next week, which is why I'm considering weighing myself every other day instead of every day. I'm still feeling guilty, but hopefully I'll overcome that soon. I think I'm entering the more stable phase of the protocol, where I feel good, am able to walk an hour a day, and still function. I'm excited that I only have two more weeks to go, and then I start the transition into Maintenance, which means avocados!!

VLCD Day 5 - Detox, Hunger, and How I Will Beat It

I don't know that I've ever been this happy to see a Monday, I swear. Getting back on the schedule of normal drop times was a huge help, considering I'm much much less shaky today than I was yesterday. I had a hard time this morning, but otherwise I've been doing ok all day. I even had energy to joke around at the office and walk up and down the stairs a few times. Lemme tell ya, I see now why MHP says no exercise on the VLCD. Your body's working so hard to make up for the lack of fresh calories, that asking it to do even light exercise can be too much.

I asked the MHP support page about my shakiness and hot flashes, and they raised a very good point. My body's going through severe withdrawals, mainly because I've taken away just about everything that's considered bad for one's body, in a very short period of time. It makes sense that I'd be having a reaction to the lack of sugars and starches, which I was expecting, just not to this degree. I've been told the detox should end within the first week, and I'm already at Day 5, so they think the worst is behind me.

Good news is I've been granted the option of adding more veggies to my meals. I'm having an incredibly hard time meeting the 500 calorie daily intake, and now that I've been told I can go slightly over, I'm relieved. I also have the option of drinking chicken or beef broth, as long as it's sugar free and low in sodium. There's actually a set of recipes on how to make the broths on your own, so they're guaranteed VLCD safe, but you have to let them simmer for over two hours. I personally am a very sensory person, and when I smell food I become starving. I know that sitting in a house, with a pot of simmering broth for over two hours would kill me, so I'm opting for the canned/boxed variety. It was difficult to find a broth that met the criteria, so I've asked for approval on the Kitchen Basics stock, so we'll see. Cross your fingers it's acceptable.

In writing today's blog, I realize I've already gone through some pitfalls of the diet that I wish someone would have warned me about. The general consensus for answers is what's available in the P&I Guide, and while helpful, doesn't always cover all the questions I find myself asking on a daily basis. I think I'll be posting a couple blogs, that I'll edit as I go through this process, of recipes, products, and FAQs that I have found helpful. Maybe someone will find it, and like it, and maybe it'll sit out there and die a digital death, who knows.

I am constantly reminding myself today of the first couple days on the protocol, and how I was able to sail through the hunger pangs no problem. The shakiness and flashes caught me off guard, and I think it's weakened my resolve to continue this. I'm so used to snacking when I'm hungry that reaching for the water bottle instead is beyond unsatisfactory. I had to remind myself today why I'm doing this, because already I feel lighter than when I started. It's hard to curb the thought that I could just go off the protocol, because I've already lost weight. That's not the point; the point is to lose the maximum allowed, and then keep on going. I cannot, and will not, fall back into the mode of thinking that landed me where I am now - that life is too short to restrict myself, and I'll just enjoy it.

There's enjoying something, and then there's over indulging. I've over indulged for too long. Now it's time to simply enjoy.